"Dame Fortune" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared on Andy's Fuzzy Warbles Volume 1. It was originally supposed to be on Apple Venus Volume 1.

A heavily shortened version of the song was used in the promo video for the The Official Fuzzy Warbles Collector's Album.


Andy: “A Tyrannosaurus Rex like, elfin mad dash, penetrating the pearly portals of lady luck. Or, maybe pondering on repairing the puncture in your unicycle of fate. The lady in question decided this was not to be a track on Apple Venus One. Bless her.”


Dame Fortune smile, ring my bell, lift your skirt

Pour down some fortune on me

Dame Fortune smile, knock my door, doff your cap

Deliver milk for my tea

I've been throwing low numbers on the dice of life

All the cards I turn scowl at me like my ex-wife

When night-time falls I'll need your net

To catch those brick-bats in

Dame Fortune smile at my lottery [lass?]

Please won't you empty my bin?


(Play the guitar)

Dame Fortune smile, tear a square from your dress

Give my front windows a clean

Dame Fortune let me borrow your bike

Bring home the bacon and beans

I've been drawing low numbers from the hat of dreams

Drowning in the pools by simply picking rotten teams

When night-time falls we'll fix it up

I'll loan your safety pin

Dame Fortune smile when they're spitting at me

Please bring all my washing in

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