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"Fruit Nut" is a song by Colin Moulding. It appeared on the 1999 album Apple Venus Volume 1.

The demo appeared on Apple Venus Volume 1's companion demo album, Homespun.

An instrumental version appeared on the Apple Venus Volume 1 instrumental album, Instruvenus.

QuotesEdit

Colin (on the demo): “Having been seen to have owned five sheds at one time by various people who know me, it wasn't long before I came to be known in certain quarters as ‘five sheds Moulding’. So perhaps it follows then that one day I might be best placed to advise friends and fellow hobbyists of the joys of owning one, but it never occured to me I would do it in a song. I might have written the tune in any of the outhouses if not for the ephemera of moving house occupying all of them, or at least the ones in good repair. You could say that most of my working life has had a connection with one shed or another having worked as a groundsman before I became a full-time musician (the horticultural link perhaps?) and whether you're putting the Hornby ‘00’ through its paces, peering through a telescope at the moons of Jupiter or even writing a song, being alone in an outhouse at an odd hour gives you a sense of being at the frontier of discovery, a kind of Dr. Jekyll feeling, whose experiments must not be disturbed. However, I should point out that men who spend too much time on their own invariably arouse suspicion, so to avoid that ‘dirty raincoat botanical gardens Tunbridge Wells feeling’, be generous with the invites to your piece of paradise.

“‘Fruitnut’, after all this was conceived in my own front room, which may be of little interest but I am sure the keys that I choose for my songs are related to my fear of being overheard from the next room. Singing out at the top of your voice in a proper recording studio can be an intimidating experience but doesn't compare to the humiliation of being caught in mid falsetto by a member of one's own family. I can think of only one other surprise interruption which might surpass it...

“Yes, you could say my singing has been in hushed tones of late and I've recently wondered whether I might be approaching ‘Como-tose’, a condition resembling the vocal delivery of the well known crooner, but as there are plans afoot to feather another bunker I'm hoping this will raise the larynx up from the ‘swing low sweet chariot range’ to a more natural level, otherwise it's back to tight trousers for me.”

LyricsEdit

Tending my fruit, tending my fruit

Ah you've got to have a hobby

A man must have a shed to keep him sane


Spraying my buds, spraying my buds

Got to keep away diseases

I mix the poisons and the wife don't complain


Some people say

That I am out of my tree

Or just a strawberry fool

Someday they'll see

'Til then I'll blow you a raspberry

'Cos apples and pears are me


So I'm tending my fruit

And I don't give a hoot

'Cos it keeps me sane, it keeps me sane


Some people say

That I am out of my tree

Or just a strawberry fool

Someday they'll see

'Til then I'll blow you a raspberry

'Cos apples and pears are me


So I'm tending my fruit, tending my fruit

Ah you've got to have a hobby

A man must have a she'd to keep him sane

To keep him sane, to keep him sane, to keep him sane


Oh the wife can't complain

To keep him sane, to keep him sane, yeah keeps him sane

Yeah to keep him sane, to keep him sane, yeah it keeps him sane

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