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"I Need Protection" is a song by Colin Moulding under the pseudonym The Colonel. It appeared as the B-side to "Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen," apparently to keep the vinyl from warping.

It reappeared with "Too Many" on the odds-and-ends compilation Rag and Bone Buffet: Rare Cuts and Leftovers.

QuotesEdit

Andy Partridge: “Colin needed this to keep the 'Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen' single from warping.”[1]

LyricsEdit

Oh, I need protection


Nothing is safe and

Nothing is truly sacred

If you want to stay alive

Keep your body from the undertakers


Sing out!

Oh, I need protection


Have you ever had a threat?

Have you ever had [call / cold] [pause to make] stare?

You can see it on TV

From the pleasing safety of your armchair


Sing out!

Oh, I need protection


When it slap you in the face

Will you take [down] [far / Barth] to consider

What will you do

when he says to you, "Stand, deliver"


Will you take to your heels

And fight to brazen your features

Yeah, it won't go away

With just one click of your fingers


Sing out!

Oh, I need protection

Protection


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