"No Thugs in Our House" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared on and was released as a single for the 1982 album English Settlement.
A live in-studio version, for BBC, appeared on Drums and Wireless, later on the 1998 Transistor Blast box set.
XTC performed the song on British music show, The Old Grey Whistle Test. A promo video was released with the single edit of the song superimposed onto the Test performance.
Single tracklisting[]
- A-side: "No Thugs in Our House (edit)"
- B-side 1: "Chain of Command"
- B-side 2: "Limelight" (Colin Moulding)
- B-side 3: "Over Rusty Water"
Quotes[]
Andy (on BBC version): “I get to do my Johnny Winter impression with big screams. This is rougher than the album version because it was banged out very quickly live, but at least as good as the album version for different reasons.”
Lyrics[]
The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the line
The husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying their cushion-floor
His viscous poly-paste breath comes out,
Their wall-paper world is shattered by his shout,
A boy in blue is busy banging out a headache on the kitchen door
And all the while Graham slept on,
Dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to
No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear,
We made little Graham promise us he'd be a good boy
No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear,
We made little Graham promise us he'd be a good boy
The young policeman who just can't grow a moustache will open up his book,
And spoil their breakfast with reports of Asians who have been so badly kicked,
Is this your son's wallet I've got here?
He must have dropped it after too much beer
Oh, officer, we can't believe our little angel is the one you've picked
And all the while Graham slept on,
Dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to
No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear,
We made little Graham promise us he'd be a good boy
No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear,
We made little Graham promise us he'd be a good boy
They never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer,
They never read that tattoo on his arm
They thought that was just a boys club badge he wore,
They never thought he'd do folks any harm
The insect-headed worker wife will hang her waspies on the line
She's singing something stale and simple now this business has fizzled out
Her little tune is such a happy song
Her son is innocent, he can't do wrong,
'Cos dad's a judge and knows exactly what the job of judging's all about
And all the while Graham slept on,
Dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to
No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear,
We made little Graham promise us he'd be a good boy
No thugs in our house, are there dear?
We made that clear,
We made little Graham promise us he'd be a good boy
No thugs in our house