"Punch and Judy" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared as a B-side to the "Ball and Chain" 7" single, then on the 1990 odds-and-ends compilation Rag and Bone Buffet.

An unused single version appeared on the 2002 Coat of Many Cupboards box set.


Andy: “From the English Settlement sessions.”

Andy (on the unused single version): “Here's the other one of that ‘never was to be’ double A-side single. Recorded by Alan Winstanley and little old us. Hey! perhaps we don't need a bonafide producer after all, maybe we could make Settlement with just an engineer, like Hugh Padgham and we'll make the musical decisions, yeah, let's do the show right here!

“This recording, I think, is better than the one we went on to release. More swing. But Hugh Padgham, quite understandably, didn't want to make an album with us, where just two of the recordings weren't his. The thing is, we couldn't better the Winstanley version. Even so, it was confined to a kind of political limbo, along with ‘Ball and Chain’.

“The little yelping noises are that monophonic Korg synth again, still hanging on as our all purpose electronic traps box. I think we finally retired it after the Mummer album.”


(Gather 'round!)

Punch and Judy did it truly and were married in a haste

In love, maybe, using the baby as a kind of romance paste

She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter, looks much older than nineteen

He's a drinker not a thinker, baby spoiled his could have been

This must be make-believe

This must be make-believe

This must be make-believe

'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?

No-oh no-one!

Punch and Judy

Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot

Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner's far from hot

She grows tired, cab is hired, she goes round to see her friend

He comes back late, foodless, irate, we will see his temperament

Punch and Judy in a quandary, she's walked out and he is mad

Now he's grown up, can't smash home up, retribution must be had

Punch and Judy had a baby who brought them to married bliss

Mr Punch has drunken hunch that he must punish kid for this

Punch and Judy

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