"Toys" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared as a B-side to the "Love on a Farmboy's Wages" doublepack 7" single. It was later included as a bonus track on re-releases of Mummer. It's one of three final tracks on which founding member Terry Chambers would perform.


Sindy's spending too much money on clothes

Ken is going back to Gay Bob

The Teddy bears swear the neighbourhood's gone

Since the moving in of Golliwog

Rag doll gets beaten up by the Action man

The one with the real life hair

He walks and he talks in a commanding voice

But sexually he's not all there

Oh dear what can the matter be, my children sweet children

What gives down in the nursery, my children sweet children

Oh dear what if the cradle falls, my children sweet children

Toys are only human after all, who killed 'em we killed 'em

If toys are quarreling amongst themselves

What hope is there now for the world?

The smell of smoke hanging thick over funland

As the older toys are pushed down a ramp

The microchip master race are melting them down

In a dolly concentration camp

The world's gone mad but in miniature

The kids can only do what they feel

See them copy what their parents have done

'Til they're old enough to do it for real



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