"Young Cleopatra" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared on the 1987 home demo cassette collection Jules Verne's Sketchbook, then on Andy's Fuzzy Warbles Volume 5 in 2004.


Andy: “Written for the MUMMER album. But when viewed in context with the rest of the material, it didn't seem to fit. The rock and roll adoration of a regal young girl.”

Andy: “One of the first recordings I made on my 4 track cassette portastudio. This fizzy waffle from '82 was intended for the Mummer album. Hearing this again recently I realised it could be interpreted as a tad ‘paedo’, but dear listener, this was not intended. I too saw myself as 14 years old in the song. Honest.”


I see them offering you gum

I hear their swarming scooters hum

A tribe of polyester warriors spellbound

They bring you offerings to please

Like cigarettes or new LP's

You'll have them on their knees and begging

Just to play with your comb

One glance from those two eyes

Will seal your playground empire

My oh my, what a sight for sore eyes, young Cleopatra

My oh my, what a wonderful prize, young Cleopatra

You'll never be a queen unless you do as you're told

You wouldn't understand it being fourteen years old

Don't ever give your love for free

But then again, don't even let it be sold

You have your teachers in a trap

There's no age limit or no gap

To who you set alight with fire consuming

I'm glad your father is my friend

And now that school is at an end

He's only an excuse for me

To wait here at your palace gates

One glance from those two eyes

Will seal your playground empire

Your school uniform looks grey on others and silver on you

Your yellow wooden rule a golden sceptre to prove it's true

You're at the youth club near the drums

The young guitarist smiles and strums

Anything his royal majesty wishes

Your borrowed perfume fills the air

Male nostrils start to flare

It's more than some can bear

But this is your court and they are your dogs

One glance from those two eyes

Will seal your playground empire

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